Unless you have “control” issues – a desire and inability to control another person – then you should always trust your instincts. I do know that people, who suffer “control” issues, often suffer from low self-esteem and have insecurity issues. It has also been my observation that many people who are “control freaks” are usually the first to stray from a marriage, and their concern about a spouse is often the result of a guilty conscience.

You know, better than a stranger ever would, if you are suspicious of another due to a guilty conscience or for other reasons.

Understanding The Reasons For Your Suspicions

Most often, when a spouse begins to suspect the other is cheating, it is because they have detected some hidden activities or expenditures.

When a husband is going out with the guys or a wife is going out with the girls, and neither the guys nor girls are ever identified by name, then chances are that there is some kind of activity that is being hidden from a spouse.

If your spouse is going out with friends, but will not say whom the friends are or where they are going, there is good reason to suspect a hidden activity. If you press for details and details are not forthcoming, then there is something afoot that is being hidden.

Most cheaters know that their friends do not want to lie for them, so he never says that he is going out with Jeff or Dan, and she will not say that she is going out with Lucy or Janet.

When asked where he is going, he might say he is going to shoot pool, but he will never say where he is planning to shoot pool. She might say that she is going out for a drink with the girls, but she will never say where she is going to get that drink.

Why are the details of the evenings’ activities being hidden? Simple enough. If he or she offers details about an activity, then you could check up on their story and catch them in a lie.

A spouse committed to a relationship is not interested in hiding anything from anyone.

Hidden Spending

Hidden expenses generally fall the same way. If you notice an odd expenditure that a spouse is unwilling to explain with much detail, then the spouse may be trying to hide something. Not always though – so be careful here. There was a time when I had an expenditure that I sought to hide from my spouse. She was really annoyed by me spending $200 and not telling her why I spent the money. But when our anniversary arrived, all was forgiven.

Most cheaters pay for their extracurricular activities with cash, but the brazen cheater will spend money on a debit card or credit card. Here it is important to pay attention to changes in spending habits. If he or she is suddenly spending more money than usual at places where money has never been spent before, then something may be afoot.

Even if spending cash, you can keep track of amount of money being spent by your spouse. You have an idea of how much cash your spouse carries, and will be able to note when your spouse suddenly needs more money to carry than usual.

When cash is running short, most people will sit down and draw out their budget to see where they are spending money. If you find yourself short on cash, and you wonder what your spouse is doing with all of that money, sit down and draw up a budget sheet, to get an idea of how much money they cannot or will not account for to you.

Time And Money

As a general rule, the easiest way to expose a cheat is by monitoring time and money. If there are any gaps in either time or money, seek an explanation. If an explanation comes, seek details.

Fewer verifiable details should generally be viewed as suspicious. If you know who his or her friends are, call his friends when he or she is “out with friends”. By calling and asking to speak with him or her, you will know which friends he or she is not with that evening. Through a process of elimination, you can get closer to the truth.

You don’t want to be seen as checking up on them, so make sure you have a real “reason” to call and talk to him or her.

If he or she has his or her own cell phone, calling the friends could backfire on you, so do be careful.

Other Ideas To Catch A Cheater

If you have discretionary income, you might be able to invest in GPS tracking tools that can be placed somewhere inside of your spouse’s car, and with today’s technology, you can monitor most any GPS tracking tools on the Internet.

A quick search on Google for “spy tools” will tip you off to a full range of technology and products that can be used to “spy” on your spouse and catch a cheat in the act.

If you don’t want to do the dirty work yourself, you can always hire a private investigator to help you find the evidence of a cheating spouse. If you are interested in using a private investigator, visit our website to find information about an infidelity investigator, who specializes in catching cheaters on the internet and offline.

Never Tip Your Hand Until You Have The Goods

The final advice I wish to pass on is that you should never ever tip your hand that you are suspicious, until which time you have proof that will stand up in a court of law.

Having a cheating spouse will always encourage the judge to take your side in a court of law. But accusations of cheating are not enough to sway a judge into your favor – you need proof. So it is essential to get proof, before your cheating spouse realizes that you are suspicious of him or her.

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Donny Prentice writes about divorce and relationships. To find out more specific advice about how to catch a cheater or other important topics, please continue reading some of our other articles. If you are looking for advice to help you through the divorce process, our website provides helpful divorce advice for men and divorce advice for women on our website: http://www.divorcethinktank.com/blog/

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On the surface, I would say NO, definitely not.

There could be more to lose, than what there is to gain in that situation.

You should review the strength of your evidence and talk to your attorney about this specifically, before you make any attempt to contact the other woman.

Most importantly, once you confront her, she may tell you husband, putting him and her on the defensive.

A cheater once caught will usually try to play the victim, not only with you, but also with your friends and family. If your cheating husband can convince your friends or family that you were in the wrong – neglecting his needs or whatever excuse he might use – then your friends or family could side against you in the divorce process. So, you should never tip your hand, before your attorney is ready for you to do so.

You are a woman, and you have friends who are women, so you know that what I am getting ready to tell you is true. Some women relish the role of the other woman. While it is true that most women would be offended to know the truth and will stand by your side in the courtroom to testify as to your husband’s cheating ways, you should never count on her to be the kind who will be as upset as you are about your husbands’ philandering ways.

If your evidence is strong and it will hold up in a court of law, then you don’t need her help to expose your husband. But if your evidence is weak, the other woman might prevent you from getting the evidence you need to convince the judge that your husband is a cheating spouse.

You should protect your own interests at all times, especially if you are pursuing a divorce. And confronting the other woman or other women could create more problems than it solves.

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If you are still seeking evidence of your husband’s cheating ways, consider the following resources:

• The book, How To Catch A Cheating Spouse, is written by professional investigators and teaches sure-fire ways to catch a cheating spouse, and how to document it properly for use in the court room.
• There are Private Investigators, who specialize in finding evidence of cheating on the Internet. You can hire these specialized Private Investigators to search for evidence of your spouse on online dating sites, chat rooms, and in personal’s advertisements.

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Some couples divorce on good terms and truly want to help their soon-to-be former spouses succeed. However these are rare cases. Most divorces have a battleground and that battleground is usually money and children.

The court system is complicated and you need an advocate that will protect you. While attorneys are often perceived in a negative light, a good divorce attorney is absolutely necessary. Unfortunately, that negative perception has been earned by attorneys who have not represented their clients honestly yet still have demanded hefty fees. But you can weed out the bad from the good.

• Go to the courthouse and ask the court clerks which attorneys handle the most divorces in your area. If you have time, research the cases to see which attorney wins the most in situations similar to yours.
• Learn how the court system works. If you have time, sit in on one or two divorce cases that are being heard.
• Find an attorney that specializes in family law. Don’t believe this is their specialty because of an ad in the phone book. Again, ask questions to people other than the divorce attorney.
• Don’t be afraid to shop around. Your attorney is the key to your success in your divorce. Consider several before deciding on one.

Once you have narrowed your list down to two or three attorneys, interview them before choosing one. Some key questions you should ask are:

• How much will this cost me? If they give you a low amount, the attorney may be desperate and just trying to get your business. A high priced attorney does not mean high quality. If you choose to spend a lot of money, make sure the attorney is worth the cost. Ask if payment arrangements are available.
• Find out what is included in the estimate. Will the attorney charge you every time he or she sends a fax or takes a phone call on your behalf? Will a paralegal be doing some of the work at a lower hourly rate? Get details.
• How often has this attorney tried divorce cases in this courtroom? Getting a sharp out of town attorney can penalize you if you are in small community.
• When conducting these interviews, look for an attorney that makes you feel comfortable. Your attorney is your partner in your divorce as you attempt to stand up for your rights. If you don’t feel like you can express your feelings openly to your attorney, you are likely will not be successful in court.

If you suspect a divorce is imminent or if you recently separated, don’t delay in finding an attorney. Don’t let your ex be the first one to strike, particularly if a bitter battle is ahead of you. You need that advocate by your side as soon as possible.

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(c) 2008 Cathi Adams.

Cathi Adams is the author of “Divorce Secrets: What Every Women Should Know.” This invaluable resource provides steps to ensure financial security to woman faced with the possibility of divorce. Visit her web site for a FREE report -What You Absolutely Must Know Before You Even THINK About Getting A Divorce: http://www.DivorceDefense.com http://www.DivorceCourtSecrets.com

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• You don’t have to lose custody of the kids.
• You won’t necessarily have to pay alimony to your wife.
• You won’t necessarily have to pay exorbitant child support to your wife, for the “care” of your children.
• You won’t necessarily have to give her the house and car, while you hang on to all of the bills.

It Is True – The American Legal System Does Favor Women In Divorce Court

In many cases, it may be right for the legal system to favor the wife, but not in all cases.

A friend of mine from high school went through a divorce and he lost big!

His ex-wife got his daughter full-time, and he is lucky to see his child once a year. His ex-wife got a huge child-support payment and a sweet alimony check in divorce court.

When I met back up with my friend several years after high school, he and his second wife were trying to support five kids, while living in a three bedroom shack - and I do mean shack. They had to live in a shack, because she worked for minimum wage, and he paid 70% of his take-home pay to his ex-wife in the form of child support AND alimony!

In my friend’s case, he had a good job when his first wife divorced him, so the hefty child support and alimony seemed consistent with the lifestyle his wife had come to expect while being married to him. He just rolled with whatever she asked and did not fight for his own rights. He still regrets that decision, but he insists, “what can he do?”

In his case, one year after his wife divorced him, his employer went under and he lost his job. While he was out of work, he got behind on his child support payments. As soon as my friend got behind on the child support and alimony payments, she began to withhold his oldest child from him, and she started pursuing him in the courts as a deadbeat dad. The courts now withdraw his child support and alimony from his check, before he even sees his paycheck.

While he was out of work, she married another fellow, who earned more than my friend had earned when he and his wife divorced. So although his wife did not need the child support or alimony anymore, she continued to receive it, because he did not know that he could go back to court to have the judgment adjusted – and even if he did know, he could not afford to hire an attorney to help him.

His ex-wife earned more of his paycheck for his oldest child, than he and his wife were able to earn to raise his next five children.

When I had met back up with my friend from high school, he was earning just 50% of what he was earning when his divorce was finalized. By this time, he had been paying the ex-wife for ten years, with no hope of ever getting out from under her thumb for at least another seven years.

Some people accept their fate, but that does not mean that you should accept what your soon-to-be ex-wife wants to dole out to you!

Don’t Let This Happen To You!

The truth is that there is a lot a divorce attorney can do to help the men win in divorce court, but that is an insider secret that divorce attorneys don’t like to share. Divorce lawyers make good money making minced meat out of the guys that they face in divorce court, and many consider it in their best interest to keep the men on the losing side in divorce court.

Divorce attorneys don’t want men to know that there are tips and tricks they can use to help the men win in divorce court.

As you keep reading, remind yourself how useful Insider Secrets can be. In every area of your life, you know that Insider Secrets can be of assistance to you to get a leg up on whatever you are doing. Divorce Court is no different – those who have the inside track on how the divorce court system works are the best people to teach you how to navigate this landmine filled territory.

Enter stage left, one Jim Williams – a divorce attorney who got tired of screwing hapless guys just like you, in divorce court.

It doesn’t matter from where the tin man got his heart, so long as he finally realized he had a heart.

Common Mistakes Men Make In Divorce Court

The first thing you need to understand is that divorce attorneys do not give a hoot about you or your hopes and dreams. The attorney serves you in court, only because he is looking for your money. Your divorce lawyer will not make more or less money from you, based on his performance in court. You are a paycheck, pure and simple, regardless of whether you win or lose in court. And besides, he has legal assistants to handle most of the actual work for him.

Your lawyer is in business to make money – not to help you win.

The second thing you need to understand is that you should never permit your divorce attorney to handle your case on his own, without direction from you. If you leave your fate in the hands of your attorney, your fate is going to squash you like a bug.

Get Educated and Knowledgeable About Divorce Legalities and Divorce Court

As with everything else in life, a good education will help you to be more successful.

This is why you need to immerse yourself into the legalities of the divorce process and how to be your own best advocate. There is only one person in this world who will look out for your best interests – and that person is you!

Everyone else is rooting for your wife.

A good education into the divorce process begins with Jim Williams’ book, “Insider Secrets and Strategies That Men Must Know to Win Their Divorce!”

This book will teach you:

• Why women file for divorce at twice the rate of men – plus, the #1 reason women file for divorce and how to turn this to your advantage during the divorce proceedings!
• How to separate from your wife – without also being separated from your house, your kids, your assets and everything else that you worked so hard for all these years!
• A simple tip that will quickly and easily prevent your wife from hiring the best divorce lawyers in town – you’ll be amazed – and extremely grateful – when you read this amazing tip!
• The biggest mistakes you can make with your divorce lawyer – and how to avoid each of them and save yourself thousands of dollars in the process!
• The tax implications of a divorce settlement – and how to ensure you get a tax break instead of a big tax bill in the spring!
• How to win a divorce without ever even having to go to court – these tips could save hundreds of dollars in court fees!
• How to get a great divorce settlement faster than you ever dared dream possible – and while spending less than you could ever hope for!
• How to dramatically lower your alimony payment – or even get rid of it all together!
• And much, much more!

Don’t let yourself go down the same road as thousands of men before you have gone down. If you let your divorce attorney handle your entire case on his or her own, you will lose in court.

If you want to keep custody of your children, or avoid punitive child support, alimony or divorce settlement, you need to learn how to become your own best advocate, and that begins with a top-notch education from an industry insider.

If you are a man who knows how to fight for his own best interests, you can win in divorce court, even in a court of law that is weighted against you.

Click here to Learn More or Buy Your Copy Today of “Insider Secrets and Strategies That Men Must Know to Win Their Divorce!“

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Hiring a Private Investigator To Catch A Cheating Spouse

I remember one specific case that is as clear now, as if I had done it only yesterday. It was my first case and my most memorable case.

A friend of my boss thought her husband was cheating on her and wanted us to acquire evidence to that fact. I think the reason that the case was so memorable to me is due to the reaction of my boss when HE saw the photos!

My boss had known the husband for years and honestly did not believe we would bring back any cheating evidence, and he had told the wife as much. But she insisted, so my boss sent me out to tail her husband. Not only did I catch her husband cheating on her, but I also got his car and her car tags in the shot, with his face and her face clear in the photos, as they worked their way into the motel room. What got my bosses goat was that not only was his friend cheating on his wife, but he was doing it with another mutual friend!

My boss about fell out of his chair when he saw the photos. He swore me to never tell the story, and I never have until now. But now as I tell the story, I am not naming names or cities, and I would be surprised if any of the players except for the girlfriend are still around to read this. My boss and his friends were in their 60’s when this happened two decades ago, although the girlfriend was in her thirties.

You Are Not At Fault

Cheaters by nature are practiced liars, and they are practiced in the art of making themselves the victims, when it is they themselves who were in the wrong. When caught in the act of cheating on a spouse, they frequently try to lay the blame at the feet of the faithful spouse. But it is important to understand that this is only a tactic to help them maintain their power over you.

Friends and family will often insist that their is nothing going on and that you are only imagining that your spouse is cheating. Just like my PI boss twenty years ago, sometimes even those expert in getting at the truth cannot see the cheater as a cheater. Do you remember how I said that he had told the man’s wife that he did not believe her husband was cheating on her… And then I delivered evidence to the contrary?

If you are suffering from the fear, stress, anger, and pain caused by the suspicion that your spouse is cheating on you… you are not at fault.

You are the victim – not your cheating spouse.

You Would Not Be Reading This, If You Were Not Already Suspicious – Get The Proof Today!

The important thing to realize is that if you are reading this today, then you probably have some kind of suspicion about your spouse. And you should trust your gut and pursue the truth. But don’t expose your hand until you have the proof in your hands, in black-and-white, to help you secure the future you want for yourself and your family.

Waiting before you act also protects you in the event you are wrong. Chances are that if you are suspicious, you are probably not wrong about your significant other, but it is important to have proof in hand, before you confront your partner or spouse. If for no other reason than to ensure that you have the upper-hand in any divorce or legal proceedings, make certain that you have indisputable proof, before you confront the cheater.

A cheating spouse does not always lead to divorce, but when it is proven, the faithful spouse will be able to stand tall with new power over the cheater. We are not going to tell you that if you catch your spouse cheating, you should seek divorce, nor are we going to tell you that you should try to stay with the marriage. That decision is yours, but I have known women who have benefited handsomely by putting themselves in the driver’s seat when they caught their spouse in his cheating ways. These women that I have known who stayed in the marriage, after catching their husbands with their pants down, were able to gain control over their financial future and lives, by telling their husbands how things would be from that day forward.

The decision on how to use the knowledge of a cheating spouse is your decision to make, and yours alone. But we are not here to discuss what you should do when you catch your spouse cheating. We are here to show you How To Find Out If Your Spouse Is Cheating – Once And For All.

See, there is a skill that many private investigators, police investigators, intelligence operators, and counseling professionals have learned. When the investigator can stand back from a situation and observe the situation objectively, he or she can generally identify a cheater in only a few minutes.

• There are certain questions that can be asked, in which the response given will always expose the cheater – even when the cheater does not want to be exposed.
• There are techniques and tools that can be acquired for very little money that can be used to expose the cheater, giving proof of an indiscretion.
• Internet cheaters can be exposed in minutes – even if the cheater is trying to cover his or her activities.
• There are five sure-fire tactics that you can use to quickly and easily find the name and the face of the other man or other woman in your spouse’s life.
• There are techniques you can use to collect irrefutable evidence of cheating behavior that no lie or excuse can cover up.
• You can effectively and easily uncover the lies and expose the excuses used by your spouse to enable their cheating behavior.
• There is a technique you can use to discover in 30 seconds, with 99.9% accuracy, whether your spouse (or partner) will eventually cheat on you. The cheating heart always betrays itself.
• There is one thing you must always have in hand, before even saying one word to your spouse, in an effort to confront his or her infidelities.
• You can learn everything you will need to know to collect evidence that is legally binding and will assure you that – if you choose to separate – you will have the upper hand in all legal dealings, including divorce, alimony, child support, child custody and asset distribution.

Take Control Of Your Situation

When you decide to take control of your life with the book, Catch A Cheating Spouse, you’ll discover proven, time-tested, and ruthless strategies to catching a cheat in the act. These are the exclusive Private Investigative tips that you’ve probably never heard before, but they’re guaranteed to give you everything you need to know (and document) if your spouse is cheating.

If you are suspicious, you owe it to yourself to know the truth.

This book will not tell you what to do if you catch a cheating spouse, but it will show you dozens of techniques used by professional investigators to get to the truth in a very short time. Depending on the techniques you employ, as described in the Catch A Cheating Spouse book, you will be able to acquire indisputable proof within only a few days or few minutes of learning these techniques.

Click here to Learn More or Buy Your Own Copy of How To Catch A Cheating Spouse.

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Click here if you want to bypass an education and hire a Professional Private Investigator who specializes in finding online cheaters.

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Why You Should Keep Reading

There are certain things you need to know and understand to get you securely to the other end of the divorce process. For example:

• How much child support should you seek?
• How much alimony should you seek?
• How should you value your shared assets and a fair financial settlement?
• Will you be able to protect your standard of living?
• How can you ensure that your children will still be able to attend college?
• What should you realistically expect from the court’s in regard to child custody arrangements?
• What level of help can you or should you expect from your divorce attorney?
• What if you husband is stalling, in order to run up your attorney costs?

All of these questions are important and the answers to those questions should be answered before you hire your divorce attorney and pay the attorney fees. If you have already hired your attorney, this information can still help you to get a leg up dealing with your attorney.

Believe it or not, not all attorneys are committed to the best interests of their clients. Not every lawyer has the time or inclination to hold their client’s hand through the many steps involved in the divorce process.  It is a fact that most lawyers have many cases going at the same time, and attorneys frequently employ a legal assistant to do the majority of their work.  The information that will be provided to you in this book will help you figure out how to get your attorney more on your side in the divorce process, to ensure that your attorney will be able to help you in ways that YOU need to be helped.

If your husband is stalling and stonewalling the process, in order to drain away your financial resources to pursue the divorce – let him also pay your attorney fees in addition to his own. Keep track of the additional costs of stalling and stonewalling, and the divorce judge will take that information into account – often passing your attorney costs to him as a retribution for his negative efforts. It doesn’t hurt to ask, and if he is clearly in the wrong, the judge will frequently side with you.

Only in the case of an abusive husband should you need to get out fast, as opposed to getting out with your future intact. This information is designed to help you plan your divorce ahead of time, but even in the event that the divorce papers have already been filed, you will find this information to be just what you need, before you make mistakes that you might regret for many years to come.

This inexpensive book will not only tell you what you need to know to ensure that you come out of the divorce process intact, but it also provides the worksheets that you need in order to be able make sure that you do not overlook anything that is truly important to your success.

How This Book Can Help Women To Better Navigate The Divorce Process

The Women’s Guide To Divorce is a practical, hands-on guide written specifically for American women facing divorce, and it is an inexpensive MUST-HAVE for any women considering or in the process of divorce.

With the Women’s Guide To Divorce, you will get over 250 pages of step-by-step instructions and divorce advice.  This book covers all of the practical aspects of going through a divorce, so you can be prepared ahead of time.  This book will give you everything you need to know about:

• Preparing emotionally and legally for the divorce process.
• Understanding property laws and how they work.
• What your settlement agreement should include.
• What every woman needs to know about custody and visitation.
• Managing everything once the divorce is finalized.

If you are considering divorce, or in the midst of the divorce process, the Women’s Guide To Divorce will be an essential book to own. And because the book costs less than $20 to own, there should be no reason that you cannot afford to get a copy of this book for yourself.

Click here to Learn More or to Buy Your Own Copy of the Women’s Guide To Divorce.

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Our goal and purpose is to help you to find the information you need to protect your interests through a divorce. Whether you are a he or she, we are going to help you protect your assets and secure your future.

If you are thinking about divorce, no is the time to start planning for the future. You do not need to be ready to call your lawyer; you simply need to be considering the possibility.

Case in point. My mother was thinking about a divorce for five years before she took the leap. She secured her future before taking the dive. Even though my father earned three times the money as my mother, my father would occasionally request and borrow from my mom. She was his emergency line of credit for more than 15 years.

There is no way she could have secured her financial future if only she had thought about it one day, then jumped. Instead, she planned ahead and sheltered her own income from him. Then the day came to take the leap and she was able to land on both feet in excellent financial condition.

Over the next few years, when my dad requested a loan, he received the loan but with interest. And he always paid her back, because he wanted to ensure that secure line of credit.

If you are even thinking about divorce, the time to start planning is now. Your future will rely upon the decisions you make today. If you work things out with your significant other, fantastic, but you will still have a fall-back in times of financial emergency.

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